he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
