He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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