Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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