Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
