I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
