Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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