New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize