Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
