): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
