So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
