this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
