Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
