Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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