She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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