i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
