you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
