Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
