Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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