woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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