i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
