I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
my liver is dry heaving
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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