Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
