I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Someone signed my nipple.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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