I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
