oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize