we're blogging at a bar
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
