People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i drank out of a bidet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
