i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
