my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
