Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
