My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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