Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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