Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
