ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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