Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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