I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
false alarm, still single
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
