the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize