You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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