Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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