Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
