All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
