Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
third nipple confirmed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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