My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
