She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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