they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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