Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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