I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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