Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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