its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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