I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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