i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
