she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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