Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Acid is not a monday night drug
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
