He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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