I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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