Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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