My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
