No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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