idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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