I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
