it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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